Finding My Way Back Home…


I must have got off the Metro at this stop….

I guess I was thinking I needed to change lines here, but I was just told by the ticket lady that none of the lines went where I was headed. I realized then that I needed to go back up the line and take my car to get wherever it was I was going.

I was wondering why I didn’t figure this out in the first place, but I started focusing on getting back to wherever I got on instead of worrying about that now.

I looked at the transit map to see which line I needed to use but nothing looked familiar. I wasn’t even sure where I had gotten on or how far I had traveled. It was like I had just woken up here. In fact, I wasn’t sure where I was headed to begin with, but I tried not to think about that.

The map looked so strange that I had a feeling I was a long way from home. There was a man close by, waiting on the next train, and I said out-loud, “Boy, I’m really lost here,” which drew his attention. Seeing my confusion, he asked me where I was headed and I said, “I guess I’m trying to go back home.” He asked, “Where’s that?” and I had to struggle to remember….

I hesitated, “I think the place is called St. Barnard or something like that,” and I tried to show him where it was on a map that I had just seen flashed in a news report on a nearby television, but the picture had changed by the time I started to show him, and I laughed nervously and said, “Well…I guess I should show you on the map instead.”

I think he was beginning to wonder about me by then, but he was pleasant enough and followed me over to the map.

I looked at the map again but still had no clue where I was or where I needed to go and I said, “I think it is just right outside Clearwater.” He said; “Clearwater, Florida? That is several hundred miles from here. You couldn’t have come all that way on the Metro. You must have driven most of the way.”

I was uncertain if I really lived there or not, or where my home was. I just couldn’t remember.

Right then, I looked up and saw someone approaching me. I suddenly realized I had been traveling with him. I recognized him, but I couldn’t quite remember his name. He had been looking for me, but we had gotten separated after we had talked to the ticket lady.

He told me we needed to go to a different level to make the connection we needed, and I started following him. He was walking fast, and I was trying to keep up. I shouted ahead, “Don’t lose me!”

As I was following him, it sunk in that I had Alzheimer’s now — like my mother and grandmother before me. It was a shocking revelation and I was thinking, “Well, this is it then; my mind is going.”

Then I realized I had had that revelation before!!! And the shudder from that realization finally woke me up from this disturbing dream.